Get Paid to Write About Gardening: Top Sites That Pay Up to $600 per Article

An image featuring an elderly mother and her middle-aged daughter gardening together, capturing their happy moment in a lush garden filled with flowers, wearing gardening clothes and hats, and using gardening tools, used as the featured image for the blog post titled “Get Paid to Write About Gardening Top Sites That Pay Up to $600 per Article” on

Hey there, green thumbs and garden enthusiasts! Have you ever been amidst a sea of vibrant blossoms, hands covered in earth, thinking, “I’ve got so many tales from this garden!”? If you’ve ever dreamt of turning those stories into cash, you’re in the right place. Yes, you can actually get paid to write about gardening!

Gardening is more than a pastime; it’s a deep-rooted passion. And here’s the blooming good news: there are platforms eager to reward you for your horticultural insights. Whether you’re a seasoned gardener with tales of triumphant topiaries or someone who’s recently discovered the joy of planting, there’s a space for your voice.

In this post, we’ll unearth the top sites that are on the lookout for your gardening narratives and are willing to pay up to $600 per article. So, grab your trusty trowel, a refreshing drink, and let’s delve deep into how you can get paid to share your green wisdom!

1. The American Gardener

Hey, plant pals! Ever heard of The American Gardener? It’s the dazzling brainchild of the American Horticultural Society. Picture this: 64 pages bursting with color, celebrating the wondrous world of plants and gardens. Every two months, over 20,000 plant enthusiasts dive deep into this mag, soaking up the freshest gardening gossips, trends, and heartwarming tales.

What’s Cooking in Their Garden?

Most of the green tales in The American Gardener come from freelance writers like you and me. Who’s reading? A mix of garden-loving amateurs and the pros in the horticultural world. They’re all about:

  • Deep dives into diverse plant families.
  • Fresh, zesty takes on garden design.
  • Stories of gardening gurus who’ve left their mark.
  • The latest in plant research, conservation, and the big B – biodiversity.
  • A peek into America’s gardening milestones.
  • Big cheers for sustainable and green-thumb-friendly gardening.
  • DIY guides on garden must-haves and pro moves.

And hey, they’re big fans of gardening that’s in tune with Mother Nature.

Got a Green Story? Here’s How to Share:

Got a gardening tale itching to be told? Shoot them a proposal before you pen down the whole story. Pop an email to or go old-school with snail mail. If you’re a newbie, toss in some writing samples and a quick snippet of your gardening adventures. They’ve got a soft spot for writers who blend plant know-how with a dash of storytelling magic. Oh, and if you’ve got pics or doodles, give them a shoutout!

How Long Should Your Tale Be?

  • Feature Articles: 1,500 to 2,500 words.
  • Natural Connections: 750 to 1,000 words.
  • Plant in the Spotlight: 600 words.
  • Homegrown Harvest: 900-1,000 words.

Show Me the Green (💰, that is):

  • Feature Articles: $300 to $600 once it’s out.
  • Departments: A cool $150 to $200.
  • If things don’t pan out after tweaks, they’ve got a 25% consolation for you.

The American Gardener isn’t just another mag. It’s a buzzing hub where your plant tales can sprout, touch hearts, and, yep, get you some green for your green wisdom!


2. GreenPrints

Dive into the vibrant world of GreenPrints, the perfect spot for those who see gardening as more than just plants. It’s about the chuckles, the “aha!” moments, the little challenges, and the memories that make every garden unique. From hilarious mishaps to golden advice, GreenPrints weaves together tales from gardeners, jesters, and artists worldwide. Join the club of 250,000+ garden lovers and get lost in stories that warm the heart, spark a giggle, and light up the spirit.

What They’re Digging For:

GreenPrints is all about YOUR garden tales. Here’s what they’re eager to read:

  • Heartfelt garden stories that stir up feelings, whether it’s a hearty laugh, a moment of reflection, sheer joy, or even that “why did I do that?” facepalm.
  • A captivating STORY. They’re big on narratives where something unforgettable unfolds. Got a real-life garden adventure? They’ll love it!
  • Essays and fiction are cool, but they should bring something fresh to the table. Just a heads-up: avoid going too mushy or preachy.
  • Endings that make readers go, “Wow!”
  • Keep your tales between 600-1,500 words.

The Green (💰) Details:

  • Stories that bloom in their pages get $100 to $150.
  • They snag the First North American Serial Rights, but hey, if you’ve got a reprint that fits their vibe, they’re all ears.
  • Poets, listen up! They have a soft spot for hands-on, innovative poetry that isn’t too sugary. Poetry gets a sweet $20.

Ready to Share Your Tale?

Got a garden story that’s just waiting to be told? Shoot an email to with “Story Submission” as your subject. Heads up, they might take a while to get back (usually post their issue deadlines), but trust us, it’s worth the wait. Don’t forget to include your mailing address (for the green 💰) and a snazzy bio for their “Contributor’s Page” if they pick your piece.

In a nutshell, GreenPrints isn’t just another gardening mag. It’s a heartfelt celebration of the human-garden bond. Whether you’ve had epic garden wins or some not-so-green moments, they’ve got room for your story.


3. Fine Gardening

Let’s talk about Fine Gardening, a top-tier magazine for those with a passion for all things green and blooming. Brought to you by the folks at Taunton Press (yep, the same ones behind those fab woodworking, homebuilding, and sewing mags), Fine Gardening shines as a beacon of gardening wisdom.

What’s on Their Garden Wishlist?

  • Elegant Prose: Fine Gardening is all about style and substance. They’re on the hunt for writers who can sprinkle some fresh insights on gardening topics with flair.
  • A Garden of Topics: They don’t pin you down to specific subjects, but a quick glance at their content reveals a love for everything from plant profiles and snazzy design ideas to hands-on gardening hacks. Whether you’re guiding newbies or chatting with seasoned green thumbs, they’re all ears.
  • Do Your Homework: Before you pitch, take a leisurely stroll through their magazine and blog. Get a feel for their vibe, tone, and the kind of tales they treasure.

Pitching Your Green Tale:

  • Direct Line: Feel like you’ve got a story they’ll love? Reach out straight to their editorial team. Give them a ring at 800-309-9193 or drop an email at
  • Got Other Skills?: If you’re also a whiz in woodworking or a homebuilding hero, consider pitching to Taunton’s other mags like Fine Homebuilding or Fine Woodworking.

The Green (💰) Details:

  • Payday: While they play it coy about exact rates on their site, word on the garden path is that Fine Gardening pays anywhere from $35 to a whopping $400+ for features or snappier pieces. Your pay probably hinges on the depth, length, and sparkle of your content.
  • A Tip of the Hat: They might not roll out the red carpet with a full bio, but they do tip their hat with a byline. Plus, you get your very own writer’s page, perfect for flaunting your garden tales.

A Little Whisper: Given Fine Gardening‘s esteemed spot in the gardening realm, it’s a good idea to ensure your pitches are top-notch, tailored, and teeming with insights. Quality, uniqueness, and a sprinkle of passion will make your story stand out in their lush content garden.



Ever stumbled upon in your digital wanderings? It’s a cozy corner for those who embrace the homesteading way of life. But it’s not just about sustainable living. It’s a vibrant tapestry woven with tales, wisdom, and experiences from homesteaders who’ve been there, done that. If the melodies of morning birds, the aroma of freshly-turned soil, or the pride of a home-cooked, homegrown meal tug at your heartstrings, then is your stage.

What They’re Hungry For:

  • Deep Dives: They’re all about articles that dive into the heart of homesteading, ranging from 1,000-2,500 words. From the nitty-gritty of organic farming to homesteading history, they’re eager to read.
  • A Picture’s Worth…: Got original or uncopyrighted snaps or sketches? They add a splash of color to your tales.
  • Fresh Takes: They love the classics, but they’re always on the prowl for a fresh spin on homesteading. Peek at their content, then dazzle them with something new.
  • Story Magic: They’re after tales that do more than just inform. Spin a yarn that captivates, inspires, and feels like a warm hug to fellow homesteaders.

Pitching Your Homestead Tale:

  • First Impressions: Kick things off with a proposal letter, showcasing three homestead topics you’re itching to write about.
  • Visual Vibes: Pair your words with pics or illustrations that make your story pop.
  • Drop a Line: Send all your brilliant ideas and questions to
  • Stay Fresh: Take a gander at their content to ensure you’re bringing something new to the table.

The Nitty-Gritty:

  • Rights & Nods: They’ll buy all rights to your masterpiece, but they’re cool cats. Feel free to share your work elsewhere, just tip your hat to them with a link back.
  • A Little Polish: They’ll honor your voice, but might give your piece a little polish for clarity. Especially those titles and intros—they’ve got to be click-worthy!
  • Dot Your I’s: Embrace the Oxford comma, watch those apostrophes and quotes, and maybe give Grammarly a whirl for that final shine.
  • Show Me the Green (💰): Your hard work gets you $100 for articles between 1,000-2,500 words. They’ll send it via PayPal or, for the nostalgic, a classic check.

Insider Tip: Stay engaged! Pitch often, chat with them, and keep those communication lines buzzing. It’s your golden ticket to being a familiar voice on their platform.


5. Garden Gate

Dive into the lush world of Garden Gate, a platform that’s all about celebrating the wonders of gardening. From the delicate petals of flowers to transformative design ideas, this magazine is a treasure chest for those with a passion for the green. Whether you’re on the hunt for the secrets to growing radiant roses, strategies for those tricky garden spots, or design inspirations to give your space a makeover, Garden Gate is your trusty guide. Their content isn’t just a fountain of knowledge—it’s a visual feast, making it a favorite for both gardening rookies and pros.

Share Your Green Wisdom with Garden Gate

Garden Gate cherishes the wisdom and experiences of its readers. Got a gardening gem of a tip? Facing a design dilemma? Or just have a burning garden question? Garden Gate is all ears. They place a special spotlight on contributions from their readers:

Tips: Have a gardening hack that could be a game-changer for others? Garden Gate is keen to hear it. And here’s the cherry on top: if your tip finds its way to the magazine pages, they’ll thank you with a cool $50!

Submission Guidelines:

  • Tips should be fresh, hands-on, and all about gardening.
  • If your tip gets the green light, it’ll shine in the magazine, and you’ll pocket $50.
  • Ready to share? Head over to their Tips / Questions / Design Challenge page to spill the beans.

Getting in Touch: For submissions or any other garden-related queries, just use their contact form on the website.


6. Texas Gardener

For all the gardening aficionados in Texas, Texas Gardener is your trusty companion. Tailored to Texas’s unique gardening climate, this magazine dishes out hands-on tips and tricks to help your garden flourish. With a readership that’s 25,000 strong, Texas Gardener delves into everything from producing juicy fruits and veggies to crafting stunning landscapes, all with a nod to organic and eco-friendly practices.

What They’re Eager to Read:

Texas Gardener has its eyes peeled for:

  • Lone Star Wisdom: Articles that serve up practical gardening advice, tailored to Texas’s one-of-a-kind climate.
  • Tech Talk: Detailed pieces that guide readers step-by-step through gardening techniques. They’re big on accuracy, so shout out to experts and back up your claims. And visuals? Think photos, illustrations, or diagrams to make your piece pop.
  • Feature Finesse: Whether it’s a chat with a Texan gardening guru or the lowdown on a new gardening trend, make sure it’s all about Texas.
  • Between Neighbors Column: This is where readers share their garden tales, be it a heartwarming memory or a chuckle-worthy mishap. Aim for 600-700 words for these gems.

Pitching Your Green Tale:

  • Size Matters: They have a soft spot for concise pieces around 1200 to 1500 words. But if you’re writing on assignment, you might go a tad longer.
  • First Impressions: Shoot them a query and a sneak peek of your proposed article. Got a finished piece? Send it over!
  • The Nitty-Gritty: Email your masterpieces to Pop your queries and cover letters in the email body and attach your full articles as Word docs.
  • Picture Perfect: High-res digital snaps (at least 1M in size) saved as JPEGs can give your piece that extra oomph.
  • Show Your Colors: List out your gardening expertise and, if you’re sending a query, toss in a writing sample or a snippet of your published work.

The Green (💰) Details:

  • Between Neighbors Column: A cool $50.
  • Feature Articles: Anywhere from $50 to $200, depending on how deep and detailed your piece is.

Payments roll out upon publication, and you’ll snag two copies of the mag with your article.

Patience is a Virtue: They usually get back to queries within 6 weeks. And a little tip: avoid sending the same piece elsewhere while you wait.

A Little Whisper: Before you pitch, take a leisurely stroll through Texas Gardener‘s content. It’ll give you a feel for their vibe and ensure your piece fits like a glove.


7. Modern Farmer

Modern Farmer isn’t just another agricultural magazine—it’s a movement. Rooted in the belief of sustainable farming, this nonprofit initiative is all about bridging the worlds of food, farming, and society. Through gripping tales, community vibes, and smart partnerships, Modern Farmer seeks to unravel the complex web of North America’s food system. Their dream? A world where food production and consumption are resilient, fair, and pave the way for positive change.

What They’re Craving:

Modern Farmer is scouting for:

  • Eye-Opening Tales: Reports that dive deep into global farming and food systems, with a special nod to North America.
  • Big Picture Pieces: Stories that mesh agriculture with hot topics like climate change, sustainability, social justice, and food security.
  • Got a Fresh Idea?: If you’ve got a unique, out-of-the-box pitch, they’re all ears.
  • Formats Galore: They’re open to a smorgasbord of formats, from deep dives and personal essays to multimedia wonders.

Pitching Your Farm-Fresh Tale:

Got a story that’s ripe for the picking? Here’s how to pitch it:

  • Who Are You?: A quick intro about yourself and your background.
  • The Meat of the Story: What’s the tale you’re itching to tell? Highlight its importance or any timely twist it might have.
  • Structure & Style: Give them a peek into the format, flair, and estimated length of your piece.
  • Research Roadmap: Lay out your plan of action for reporting. Got sources lined up? Mention them.
  • Tick Tock: How long will you need post-approval to serve up your story?

Shoot your pitch over to:

The Green (💰) Details:

Modern Farmer knows the worth of a good story. Compensation is tailored to the depth and format of your piece, with rates starting at a neat $350 USD.

A Little Whisper: Before you pitch, take a leisurely stroll through Modern Farmer‘s content. It’ll give you a feel for their vibe and ensure your piece fits like a glove.


8. The Maine Organic Farmer & Gardener

For nearly half a century, The Maine Organic Farmer & Gardener has been the guiding star for organic agriculture and sustainable living. A brainchild of the Maine Organic Farmers and Gardeners Association, this quarterly mag caters to everyone—from the mindful muncher to the big-league food producer. Dive in for a rich spread on organic growing, eco-friendly forestry, modern homesteading, and the art of caring for livestock.

What They’re Hungry For:

  • Feature Finesse: Articles spanning 1,200 to 2,200 words, touching on everything from organic farmer profiles to groundbreaking agri-businesses and deep dives into individual plants. Got a piece on food justice or livestock lore? They’re all ears.
  • DIY Delights: Practical pieces between 500 to 1,200 words, guiding readers on sustainable tasks—think deer fence DIYs or whipping up organic ointments.
  • Spotlight Interviews: Narratives up to 2,500 words, shining a light on the movers and shakers of the food and farming world, especially the unsung heroes.
  • Review Roundup: Quick takes of 300-500 words, giving the lowdown on books, films, and podcasts in the realm of organic gardening, climate change, and food justice.
  • MOFGA Stories: Under this banner, they’re after short nonfiction essays (500 words max) from readers that vibe with a specific theme.
  • Letters Lounge: Got feedback or thoughts? Pen them down, but keep it under 500 words if you’re eyeing publication.

Pitching Your Green Tale:

  • Tick Tock: Finalize your pieces by January 10, April 10, July 10, or October 10 for the respective quarterly editions.
  • First Contact: Send your brilliant pitches to Holli Cederholm, the chief editor, at A little tip: skim through a few issues before you pitch—it’ll give you an edge.

The Green (💰) Details:

They value your words, offering 25 cents per word upon publication for the edited version of assigned pieces. This covers first, electronic, and archival rights for both articles and images. While they archive articles on their site, they might sprinkle images and snippets on their social media and newsletters. Fancy republishing your piece elsewhere post-feature? Go for it! Just a heads up: “MOFGA Stories” and “Letters to the Editor” don’t come with compensation.

A Little Whisper: Before you dive into pitching, take a leisurely stroll through The Maine Organic Farmer & Gardener. It’ll give you a feel for their vibe and ensure your piece fits like a glove.


9. Morning Chores

Morning Chores isn’t just a platform—it’s a call to action. It’s all about rolling up your sleeves and diving into a life of self-sufficiency. From the art of gardening and the joys of livestock rearing to the buzz of beekeeping and the thrill of off-grid living, they’ve got it all. Their goal? Equip you with the know-how to lead a more independent, sustainable life.

What They’re Digging For:

  • Green Thumb Gurus: Got a passion for gardening? They’re all ears. Whether it’s organic gardening tricks or nifty pest control hacks, they want in.
  • The Bigger Picture: Beyond the garden, they delve into livestock, beekeeping, survival, prepping, food preservation, foraging, farming, frugal living, off-grid alternatives, and even woodworking. If you can blend these into your gardening tales, you’re golden.
  • Practical Magic: They’re big on actionable guides. So, your pieces should not only inform but also guide readers with hands-on advice.

Pitching Your Green Tale:

  • Join the Crew: Keen on being a voice on Morning Chores? Head over to their “Become a Writer” page and fill out the form.
  • No Paid Pitches: Just a heads up—they don’t entertain paid article submissions. If you’re looking to plug a business or site, use their Contact page.
  • Lights, Camera, Action!: Apart from writers, they’re scouting for video creators. If you’ve got the knack for crafting gardening or self-sufficiency videos, there’s a spot for you.

The Green (💰) Details:

They value your insights, offering a neat $50 to new writers for each published piece. This rate’s for those sharing to uplift the community, not for promotional pieces.

A Little Whisper: Before you pitch, take a leisurely stroll through Morning Chores, especially their gardening corner. It’ll give you a feel for their vibe and ensure your piece fits like a glove.


10. Midwest Living

Midwest Living isn’t just a magazine—it’s a love letter to the heart of the Midwest. Published bi-monthly and boasting a readership of 925,000, it’s a deep dive into the Midwest’s vibrant lifestyle, covering everything from travel and food to home and, of course, gardening. If you’ve got insights on tending to tulips in Toledo or cultivating cornflowers in Columbus, they’re all ears.

What They’re Digging For:

  • Know the Turf: Before you pitch, immerse yourself in their gardening section. It’ll give you a feel for their vibe and the kind of green tales they’re after.
  • Introduce Yourself: In your pitch, give them a snapshot of who you are. Got a LinkedIn, personal blog, or a snazzy Instagram showcasing your gardening prowess? Share away!
  • Pitch Perfect: Propose 2-3 gardening story ideas tailored to the Midwest’s unique environment. Keep it concise, engaging, and relevant.
  • Start Cozy: New to Midwest Living? They might start you off with smaller pieces, especially those close to home. While you can pitch feature ideas, suggesting a column or a web piece might be a smoother entry point.
  • Picture Perfect: If you’re pitching for their website, flaunting your photography skills, especially of lush gardens, can be a game-changer.

What They’d Rather Not Plant:

Personal essays, nostalgia pieces, humor articles, tales of personal vacations, routine stories on well-trodden destinations, and anything that’s seen the light of day elsewhere.

Pitching Your Green Tale:

  • Seasonal Sense: Pitch anytime, but remember, they plan their gardening stories a year ahead, especially the seasonal ones.
  • How to Reach Out: Shoot your gardening pitch to and ask them to pass it to the home/garden department. They’re swamped with emails, so if they’re keen on your idea, they’ll buzz you.

The Green (💰) Details:

If your pitch strikes a chord, they’ll touch base to hash out the details, rate, and get that contract rolling. They buy all rights and pay post-acceptance. For greenhorns, you can expect up to $150 for a short piece or a web article.

A Little Whisper: Before you pitch, take a leisurely stroll through a few issues of Midwest Living. It’ll give you a feel for their vibe and ensure your piece fits like a glove.


11. Whole Life Times

Whole Life Times is more than just a magazine—it’s a holistic haven that bridges the worlds of health, spirituality, and green living. Published bimonthly, this magazine is a beacon for those who believe in the interconnectedness of life. And within this tapestry of holistic living, gardening—sustainable and organic—finds its rightful place.

What They’re Cultivating:

  • Holistic Heartbeat: They’re after stories that intertwine holistic health, green living, sustainability, and the essence of organic gardening. Your piece should echo the philosophy that every facet of life, including the act of gardening, is interwoven with another.
  • Local Roots: While they embrace global themes, they have a soft spot for tales with a Southern Californian twist. So, if you’re discussing a gardening trend or technique, anchor it to this region.
  • Storytelling Soul: Whether it’s a deep dive, a heart-to-heart interview, or a personal gardening journey, they lean towards narratives that tell a tale.
  • Depth and Detail: They value articles that are not just well-researched but also offer insights that mainstream channels might miss.

Planting Your Story:

  • Queries: They prefer the digital route. If you’re a budding writer for them, toss in a brief bio and up to three of your best works. Or, if you’re feeling confident, send over a full manuscript. Direct all your green queries to
  • Manuscript Manners: Keep it double-spaced in AP style and send it as an unformatted MS Word file (.docx). If you’ve got original gardening photos or illustrations, they’re a welcome addition.
  • Timelines: While they’re open year-round, if you’re eyeing a specific issue, make sure your piece lands in their inbox 2-4 months prior.

The Green (💰) Details:

  • Feature Pieces: They accommodate up to three longer stories (800–1000 words) per issue, with compensation ranging from $75–150.
  • Regular Columns: These sections offer between $35–125, contingent on the depth, topic, and your expertise.
  • City of Angels: Perfect for newcomers, this section pays $25-35 for short, LA-centric blurbs.
  • BackWords: A personal essay section that compensates with $100.
  • Kill Fee: If they decide to pass on your assigned piece, they offer a 50% kill fee. But, this doesn’t apply to unsolicited pieces or if you’re a first-timer.

A Gentle Nudge: Before you pitch, immerse yourself in a few issues of Whole Life Times. It’ll help you align your gardening piece with their unique holistic vibe.


12. Your Own Gardening Blog

Ever thought of tending to your very own digital plot? Imagine a space where every seed of thought you plant about gardening sprouts into engaging content for readers worldwide. Starting your own gardening blog isn’t just about sharing your green escapades; it’s an opportunity to cultivate a steady stream of income right from your backyard tales.

Here’s the scoop:

  • Chronicle your gardening adventures, from the tiniest sprout to the most majestic oak.
  • Engage with a community that shares your passion for petals, pots, and everything in between.
  • Turn your blog into a blossoming business through affiliate links, sponsored content, or even selling your gardening guides and products.

Now, if the tech side of things feels like a thorny issue, don’t let it deter you. I’ve got a resource that’ll guide you through every step, ensuring your digital garden thrives.

While my guide is crafted for all budding bloggers, not just the garden variety, it’s a treasure trove of beginner-friendly advice. It’ll walk you through setting up, nurturing, and growing your blog, regardless of your chosen niche.

So, if you’ve ever daydreamed amidst your dahlias, thinking of sharing your gardening journey with the world, now’s your chance. With a sprinkle of dedication and a dash of passion, your blog could flourish into a rewarding venture.

Ready to sow the seeds of your online presence? Dive into my tutorial and watch your blogging aspirations come to life. Whether you’re all about roses, radishes, or rain gardens, there’s a corner of the internet eagerly awaiting your wisdom. Click below and let’s get planting!


Final Thoughts

As we wrap up this verdant journey, it’s clear that the world is eager to read about your gardening experiences. Whether you’re a novice with a newfound love for lilies or a seasoned gardener with tales as rich as compost, there’s a platform waiting for your voice. Remember, every story, every tip, and every insight you share can inspire someone else in their gardening journey. And the best part? You can get paid to write about gardening!

Starting might seem daunting, but with every article, you’ll find your rhythm, your voice, and your community. The joy of seeing your words published, knowing they resonate with fellow garden enthusiasts, is unparalleled. Plus, the added incentive of earning makes it all the more rewarding.

I’ll be updating this article regularly to ensure you have the latest platforms and opportunities at your fingertips. So, bookmark this page and keep it handy.

In the end, it’s all about taking that first step. Plant the seeds of your stories today, nurture them with passion, and watch as they bloom into opportunities tomorrow. Happy writing, gardeners!

about the "author"

Felicitations, fellow malefactors!

What’s cookin’, good lookin’?

Hi there!

I’m Jared dela Cruz, founding father daddy of phmillennia & five-time winner of Witch Weekly‘s Most Charming Smile Award. I’m a wizard. I used to study at Hogwarts, but I dropped out. Actually, I was expelled. Got accused of practicing the tickling charm on Thaddeus Thurkell’s seven squib sons & running an underground market of dangerous potions. Only one of those was true.

So now I’m a writer. Or at least I think I am.

But hey, thank you for being here. For supporting my work. For supporting me. You are noble. You are kind. You are beautiful. And you – why, you are my beacon of light, love, & laughter! You make me feel … beloved. And I hope, one day, I can show you how much you mean to me. If you have money, won’t you give me some, too?

about the "author"

Felicitations, fellow malefactors!

What’s cookin’, good lookin’?

Hi there!

I’m Jared dela Cruz, founding father daddy of phmillennia & five-time winner of Witch Weekly‘s Most Charming Smile Award. I’m a wizard. I used to study at Hogwarts, but I dropped out. Actually, I was expelled. Got accused of practicing the tickling charm on Thaddeus Thurkell’s seven squib sons & running an underground market of dangerous potions. Only one of those was true.

So now I’m a writer. Or at least I think I am.

But hey, thank you for being here. For supporting my work. For supporting me. You are noble. You are kind. You are beautiful. And you – why, you are my beacon of light, love, & laughter! You make me feel … beloved. And I hope, one day, I can show you how much you mean to me. If you have money, won’t you give me some, too?

Subscribe to phmillennia

Hey, so if you give me your email, I will maybe send you a Nigerian prince's urgent request for a small loan little lovely newsletter filled with all sorts of good things from my blog. You might find it useful. Or you might not. Either way, it will look pretty & you'd want to keep it in your inbox.

And until you tell me to stop, I'll keep sending you more newsletters, each prettier than the last, bringing a smile to your lips & a touch of joy to your day every time. Is that something you'd like?

Related Posts